I love anatomy! The study of the human body is one thing that drew me to a career as a nurse. Thirty-five years ago when I was enrolled as a student of nursing we had an anatomy and physiology book that was almost three inches thick. And I think of all we have learned over the past three decades related to body parts and the different organs and how each organ functions, and that could easily take another three inch book to record it all. That doesn’t even include all we still don’t know about the human body.

I truly wish we would begin a basic anatomy course in kindergarten. Children are so bright and curious about their bodies. Perhaps if we officially started to learn about our bodies at a very young age we would keep the curiosity of it all. Those of us that have been parents remember counting all the ten fingers and ten toes of a newborn, watching for that first real smile, and are so impressed when that six month old baby studies its own hands in wonder. So when do we begin to believe our bodies are rather ho-hum, average, really not so impressive? Why do so many of us choose not to gain the knowledge of where our stomach is located, or the liver, or the pancreas, or the kidneys?

I have been guilty of the above as far as not truly appreciating my body. I took so much of my own body for granted, until I had tongue cancer. On December 26, 2024, it will be two years since I had surgery on my tongue and neck. I am totally amazed how my body has healed. We each produce billions of new cells every day, and lots of those are red blood cells, flowing like a river throughout our bodies, and giving us life, oxygen, and healing. A large portion of the right side of my tongue was removed. My body was not discouraged. My tongue has grown back lots of new tissue, almost back to normal. The nerve that was severed during surgery because of the location of the cancer cells has not recovered. Yet. Because I wonder, I truly wonder, if perhaps that is also possible. And why not believe it is possible? We are talking about a fact here, our bodies are truly amazing! Think of your own body and what it does for you everyday of your life, what it has been through, this marvelous vehicle that we each live in. Why set limits on an exquisitely designed piece of machinery, especially when we don’t completely understand everything about that piece of machinery?

On my Toltec wisdom retreat in North Carolina this past November a man about sixty years young wanted to share a story with all the rest of us. So he took the microphone and started to tell us how he had learned to love his own self, including his body. He said every time he passed a mirror he looked himself right in the eye and told his body, “You’re amazing!”. It only took one week before he actually believed it was true. He started to cry then, telling us with his amazement of his own body he could see how amazing everyone else was, and that he would never put limits on his body again. He told us not to fall for all the myths about aging and what happens to the body. He said to eat healthy and exercise smart and to believe that your body would give you everything you need when you need it, and continue to give you all types of pleasures, and to set positive goals and your body will respond. But the key: you must believe it.

On the second day after my surgery I wrote a question on a piece of paper to my surgeon’s assistant. I could not talk yet. I asked him why they had to place a clamp on the right side of my skull during the surgery. He looked confused for a minute then spoke to me, “Joan, we don’t have to clamp your head down. We have the sedation down to a science. You are out, and I mean out, during your surgery.” It was my turn to be confused. I explained to him that sometimes when I woke up from sleeping I could FEEL a clamp on my skull. I could even trace an outline of it with my fingers. He said to tell my body to let go of that image, it wasn’t true. So I did, often, but it took a few months before I could no longer feel that outline of a clamp on the right side of my head.

My minister, Rev. Vicky, had also advised me to talk to my body, before and after surgery. To tell my body to the best of my ability what we were going to go through, to be a cheerleader as I set goals for my tongue and neck to heal, and later my g-tube site, (that old thorn in my side), and my lower gums. I took this advice, telling my body to let go of the skull clamp image and to vision with me when the day would come I could talk with no pain, and my muscles would return. And that one day my body would no longer look so scrawny, that my weight would be just right for me. I even apologized to my body because shortly after my diagnosis of stage three tongue cancer I accused my body of betraying me. And you know, after several months all this was no longer a vision, but a reality in my life.

So here I am, understanding so much more. I have also learned to listen well to my body. Everyday my body reassures me how strong it is, that it is safe to trust it. In the past I certainly became discouraged in my thinking with an illness called cancer, but I really don’t think my body ever did. Our bodies are amazing!

c   Love, Joan