You know, there was a short period in my life while I was dealing with an illness called cancer that I actually let go of listening to music for about four months. I am sure I was having a pity party for myself. It was a party that was on and off, some days longer than others, and where only one person attended: Me. I had a whole village of caring, loving people around me but I deliberately invited no one else so I could carry on feeling sorry for myself. Maybe if I would have asked someone to sit and feel pitiful with me I would have come out of that feeling of despair a little sooner. A feeling that can happen when life throws you one of those major curve balls and you think thoughts like, “why me?’ and “how did this happen?” and “there must be some mistake” and “I don’t want to do this” and “Dear God, how much do You expect of me and You still think I will feel like calling You My Love when I talk with You? and “I don’t want to play this game called Life anymore, and be gracious about it all, and You know what? You can’t make me, so there!”

But let’s be honest. By the Grace of God my great health returned and I went back to work as a part -time hospice nurse. I was back in my car more often and turned the classical music station on in my car radio, just like I used to do. I was out in the world again and saw lots of people dealing with “why me?”. Yet they would all be so happy to see me, most of them smiling at me, and most of them could have claimed the word Gracious for their middle name. I began to see how much my friends and family had given to me all along, and now how much my patients and their families opened their arms to me, helping me get back into the game of Life again. Be real again.

I started to turn on my Pandora App on my phone often, and use my bluetooth globe that lights up and is located down in the basement of Our Treehouse. Then when I would sit at my desk to write or clean house I could hear music filter through my home like smoke rising up from an outdoor fire and swirling out in all four directions. I began to dance again when I cleaned, and grabbed the mop like a stand up microphone and sang along with the old songs from the 80’s and the 90’s. I even went out on the back patio and sang to Grandmother Tree. All because the magic of music can be so healing, can make one feel so alive. I began to understand the time for a pity party was over, that it was good to feel my sadness and grief and process my feelings, but it was time to get back into living my life with gratitude and a purpose. I remembered a little story I once read, something about it is O.K. to sit down in a deep hole somewhere that contains only one chair. It is O.K. to have a little pity party for yourself, just don’t hang any pictures. And the power of music certainly helped me crawl out of that hole.

This past weekend I attended the Corydon Dulcimer Society retreat in Salem, Indiana. It was a marvelous weekend filled with music from instruments like the dulcimer, hammer dulcimer, mandolin, guitar, banjo, and pennywhistle. I took a class on the basics of playing a dulcimer and thoroughly enjoyed it. It’s a mellow sounding instrument, the music flowing out of it serene and tranquil. In the picture above you can see a dulcimer, and a stand which holds the music sheets. I was given new words that were defined so that I could understand them: scroll, tuning pegs, frets, strum hollow, and melody, middle, and bass strings. Why it’s just like working in the medical field, one has a whole new language to learn! (I also learned some steps in contra dancing, which is SO fun, but that’s a different topic!)

Almost everyone that attended this festival played an instrument, some more than one type. I met so many people, all delightful and friendly and so willing to share their knowledge and talents. An open stage was scheduled for Saturday afternoon and many people signed up to sing and play their instruments. That was a wonderful time for me, with lots of wonderful folk songs being sung, and some musicians played their dulcimer hard and fast, “rockin’ it” as we like to say. My darling Man, Alan, played a melodious twelve string guitar and sang two beautiful songs, and both of them brought tears to my eyes. But isn’t that partly why music is created, to help open the heart just a little more?

I have a favorite bedspread in a spare bedroom in Our Treehouse. A few years ago I had a professional seamstress embroider on the material in the center of the bedspread the words from a book in the Bible, Proverbs 4:23: “Above all else guard your heart. It is the wellspring of your life.” I think these words are so wise. I interpret them to mean that no matter what the reason is that causes you feelings of despair, or no matter how many times you may be dealing with a broken heart, you must do what it takes to mend that heart. The heart “is the wellspring” of our lives.

So if there comes a time in your life when you need to sit in that deep hole with only one chair, take some music with you. Whatever kind suits you, whether it’s mellow or “rockin’ it”, it’s a guarantee to help one see that life can still be beautiful! The power of music!

c   Love, Joan